I write about the social and personal drama in the lives of familiar people who struggle for survival of self in hostile environments. A book that expresses a special concern with exploring the oppression's, the insanity, the loyalties and the triumphs of black women is necessary today to remind everyone to be fearless in their struggle for survival of self! To Dance With Ugly People IS the next blockbuster in the genre of For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide / When the Rainbow Is Enuf, Precious, and The Color Purple with a splash of Waiting to Exhale!
Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B018EUQICQ
Amazon Paperback: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1519175485
On Createspace only you can purchase, "To Dance with Ugly People," for a discounted price!
Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B018EUQICQ
Amazon Paperback: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1519175485
On Createspace only you can purchase, "To Dance with Ugly People," for a discounted price!
- $12.95 Paperback reduced by $4.95 = $8.00 by using Promo Code ZLL9X7LL
- $2.99 Kindle reduced by $2.00 = $0.99 by using Promo Code APWQXAAY
By Lauren Jones on March 3, 2015 Clever and Emotional Read! Where do I begin?? This story is told through letters from Dani's youth all the way into her adulthood. The author portrays all of the struggles that her character suffered through as a child including abandonment and resentment. As she grows older, life challenges her even more with desperation, fear and unrequited loneliness but she has courage and strength to carry on. She still believes that someone is out there who can give her the only thing that she has always been searching for, true affection and respect toward the woman she has become. My love for Dani and Chance grew as the story continued. While Chance is not mentioned through the entire novel, but as someone whom Dani meets along the way, I found myself relating to her perceptions and emotions with this character. I kept longing to see Dani's happiness. Every time I read about Chance, I smiled whenever she smiled because he was her light and that made her happy. I am going to be honest and throw in my input about some of the scenes in this book. Some were tremendously difficult to read through and I felt sick to my stomach at times but there is so much truthfulness to them. The author wants her readers to understand the pain and hardships that plagued Dani's life so that you can understand her strength and the measures she took to find happiness. It wasn't easy and it is not for everyone, but I absolutely recommend it to anyone over the age of eighteen. Both men and women can read this because this story does not have a specific gender preference, in my opinion. While the story is written in a series of letters by Dani, the main character, it is by no means too feminine. Sometimes, I would find myself getting frustrated with her. There is so much raw talent that is encompassed into this novel; therefore, I was unable to put it down for the most part and I enjoyed having learned some new depths of life. #Sexual Abuse #Emotional Abuse #Child Abuse #Relationships #Substance Abuse #Heroine Diaries #African American #Urban Fiction
Let's get the conversations started #TDWUPChat
Let's get the conversations started #TDWUPChat
"Be fearless in your struggle for survival of self!" - Lorene Stunson Hill -
“Please send me your last pair of shoes, worn out with dancing, so that I might have something to press against my heart.” - Lorene Stunson Hill -
“Please send me your last pair of shoes, worn out with dancing, so that I might have something to press against my heart.” - Lorene Stunson Hill -
Lorene Stunson Hill grew up in Detroit, Michigan. She has lived in Central Florida for the last 37 years. "To Dance with Ugly People," a fiction novel, is drawn on the wealth of experience thrown in her path. Watching the world around her, she became very interested in Fate and Destiny. Along her path she completed several Creative Writing courses under the guide of the esteemed Professor Wyatt, at The University of Central Florida. The main thing she says he taught her was in order to be able to write she could not be a coward.
Writing gave Lorene a sense of accomplishment. Emerging from homlessness, she lived in an old historic relic of a hotel, The Putnam Hotel, that was known to be haunted. Many of its residents were "put" there by Social Services and most were on drugs. Residents paid by the day or week, so for many it was a revolving door. There were two Nightclubs on the main floor, so most nights were filled with loud music and disruptive noises. Lorene stayed locked up in her room, except for regular escapes to the grocery store. Her room numbered 313 was reported to be the most haunted room in the Hotel. Several Ghosthunters had done investigations. Curious? Check out this one site: riphunters.com/putnam-hotel - Raising her one year old Grandson, who had been abandoned by his mother, she had even more stress, loving him so and wanting the best for him.
Lorene said, " Writing this book was my escape and it made my life rich and rewarding. I felt in touch with a higher power while writing this book. No bad ghosts or spirits were going to bother me! I'd pray for where to go next, having reached writer's block, and I promise you the answer would pop into my head during the night. This novel brought me to a new divine awareness. I realized I had experienced a lot in life that had left me strewn and unsettled, the book brought about a resurgence of a strong feeling of cohesion, for me. I could feel my heart glow with excitement and enthusiasm as I wrote this book. I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I enjoyed writing it!" - Lorene Stunson Hill -
Book Trailer - https://youtu.be/A5MgP9VeGKsAlso, enjoy the music of Local Artist - K9! Like what you hear? Listen to more at https://soundcloud.com/kenanhill
Book Reviews:
By K.W.C on June 18, 2014 Great read! I enjoyed this story. The author Ms. Hill, has an excellent way of "drawing you in" to the story. Very well done! I felt emotion as I read it and the To whom it may concern piece, really had me connecting with the primary character!
By Marie Buck on July 20, 2014 Thought Provoking Read! To Dance with Ugly People really drew me in with the author's concept of basing each 'chapter' of life on an African dance. I found this to be a thought provoking, and emotional.
By Rukia the Reader on October 21, 2014 An emotive and memorable read! This is an emotional and captivating novel, which is cleverly written. It is formatted using a unique style that enables the author to portray stories relating to some of the struggles of daily life for the main character Dani and the heartache endured. As it covers emotive subjects like drug abuse, and abusive relationships, it is obvious that the author has invested emotionally in this book and this gives it a sense of honesty and integrity. It is an intense read in parts and is an enjoyable book to read.
By Melissa72 on April 18, 2015 This is a story told in a series of letters written by Dani, beginning in the year 1955 when she was just a small child of only 4 years old, and continues on through until the fall of 1983. Dani's story is raw and emotional in it's honesty and truth. Dani is forced to grow up early, with a mother who left her in charge, basically abandoning her to raise her siblings and care for the household as a parent should. Dani suffers from abuse and neglect, not only as a child, but throughout this entire tale. I felt for this girl, I kept hoping that things would take a turn for her, kept looking for her silver lining. Dani eventually grows up to be a strong woman, with the courage to keep going, to keep striving, and believing that her true "someone" was out there, waiting to appreciate all that she has been through, and the person that she has become. It is hard to read through Dani's trials and tribulations, hard to look into the face of the hand that this poor girl was dealt. This author did an excellent job in crafting Dani and her story, and all of the characters that come in and out of her life and affect it. She makes you understand the pain and suffering that Dani goes through, and helps the reader to see how she comes to the point that she finally is at.
By Tassy Trip The Light Fantastic! To Dance with Ugly People by Lorene Stunson Hill is an inspirational and emotional drama of the life and times of Dani growing up fast from 5 years old. Told in diary format this remarkable story squeezes every drop of emotion from the reader without being preachy or overbearing. Well done to the author for tackling such a subject in a way that is totally unique. Very Highly Recommended!
"Very real and frightening," said Critic, J. Rutherford"I have learned from experience that if J. Rutherford says it is good; it will be." - R. Walker -
By Sabrina Hundal Book Reviews A good read!
By Sheree Started reading it. I like it. The author is my cousin!
By D. Cotoon August 22, 2014 Who is to know human nature? There are so many different personalities; it becomes difficult to understand how one will react to their environment. And then there's fate. How much of one's life is altered by fate? This is a story of Dani Dobson from the age of four in 1955 to September 1983. Dani had a very difficult life. Her very favorite person in the world was `Big Mama' a name she called her grandmother. When she was five, she lost Big Mama. Her mother had little time for her, leaving her to take care of the house and siblings. Because of the abuse she endured, she became very introverted. She found solace in reading and when she was a teen, she loved skating. During her teen years, she met Dane Ransom. He pursued her romantically and she fell deeply in love with him. Her marriage to Dane would not ease her abuse.
By Robin Squire October 2, 2015 This is the most wonderfully entertaining and powerful book, written with great sensitivity, guts and feeling. I urge you to read it, it will enhance your life.
By Simon Okill To Dance With Ugly People by Lorene Stunson Hill is an inspirational and emotional drama of the life and times of Dani growing up fast from 5 years old. Told in diary format this remarkable story squeezes every drop of emotion from the reader without being preachy or overbearing. Well done to the author for tackling such a subject in a way that is totally unique.
Book Reviews By Lyon Book Promotions Very Highly Recommended. Lorene has done a wonderful job with her book titled; To Dance With Ugly People as she is touching many lives with her book. We have been good friends and fellow authors for a while now, and I can tell she not only is caring and has a big heart, she is true professional when it comes to representing women as authors.
By Jenny Dunbar Lorene, writes and speaks from the heart with eminent pace and passion. To write with such moment requires a provenance that includes rich courage. That 'truth' is what moves the reader and the way that is woven into the language so effectively. By John Lock Trying to find the correct starting place to recommend Lorene is proving to be quite difficult. Do I start with her literary skills which have enabled her to write a very compelling novel? Do I begin with her tireless efforts to promote and market her work? Or do I mention about the time, effort and dedication she applies in raising her grandchild? Despite her circumstances, she has still managed to write a realistic, down to earth story of a young girl growing into an adult with all the trials and tribulations that entails. To Dance With Ugly People is her first novel and reached No.1 Best Seller in the African-American Women's Fiction category. Her efforts to promote her work, whilst restricted with her family commitments, have been exemplary and if anybody deserves to be rewarded for her efforts then Lorene should be top of the list! To sum up Lorene Stunson-Hill, she has an amazing skill of accurately portraying life in her literary work. Her marketing efforts put most of us to shame, she knows what she wants and never loses focus on what she could achieve. If you read her novel you get the impression that the pain, anticipation, love, fear and despair may be borne out from personal experience, but it is a book that you will definitely want to finish.
Lorene Stunson Hill eloquently guides you through this journey of life, hope and despair, and if you read only one book this year - MAKE SURE IT IS THIS ONE! ' The good is sensitively written, the bad is portrayed as the reality of life and the ugly are the things in life we hope will never happen to us. Many customers have already benefited from reading the works of this amazing Author. - John Locke -
12 Marzo 2016 (Book review from Italy - Pubblicato su Amazon.com) "I loved the book, you could really feel the pain, joy and longing for someone to just love Dani, and the inner strength she had to overcome all of her trials and fears. this book is truly worth getting and reading. I feel you will enjoy it, as much as I did!.
By Lorene Stunson Hill I decided to present all of my Reviews for, 'To Dance with Ugly People,' that I am so grateful for, in an unique way. I took pieces of them to create this piece. I send a special heartfelt "Thank you." to everyone who has read my book and blessed me in this way. Enjoy!
T is for Truthfulness, there is so much of it in this book.
O is for Obervation, the Author shows in this very well written and creative piece.
D is for Drama, you feel in this inspirational and emotional read.
A is for Angst, as what this thrilling romance has.
N is for Novel, so much raw talent was encompassed into it.
C is for Courage, the main character has, to be able to carry on.
E is for Enjoyed, as I did this story.
W is for Written, as if it is a series of captivating letters.
I is for Integrity, this book gives you a sense of.
T is for Talent, that the Author surely has.
H is for Heart, the Author has invested in this book.
U is for Unique, the way the author tackles such a subject.
G is for Ghosts, the brutal shadows of darkness you won't forget – Awesome Read!
L is for Life, a challenge the reader will definitely feel.
Y is for Yesterday, as to when you should have purchased this book.
P is for Provoking, as where your thoughts will lead as you read.
E is for Extreme, real life horror is more compelling than a bogeyman beneath your bed.
O is for Odds, can dreams can come true, against them?
P is for Plagued, as will be your mind as you understand her strengths and measures.
L is for Love, you will find yourself relating to the perceptions and emotions.
E Everyone, both men and women can read – Excellent!
For interview or further information, please contact the author direct: lorenehill63@gmail.
For more on this amazing Author see links in upper right hand corner or copy and paste links below:
Author's Den - http://www.authorsden.com/lorenehill – Like page
Cold Coffee Cafe - http://coldcoffeecafe.com/profile/LoreneStunsonHill - Like Page
Facebook - Fan Page – Amethyst - https://www.facebook.com/Todancewithuglypeople?ref=hl
Facebook – Author Page - Lorene Stunson Hill - https://www.facebook.com/drawingyouin/
Facebook – Book Page - To Dance with Ugly People - https://www.facebook.com/UglyIsAsUglyDoes/
Facebook – Friends who like to dance with ugly people - https://www.facebook.com/groups/244250459247996/
Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8029610.Lorene_Stunson_Hill - Follow Author
Google+ - https://plus.google.com/107187301810139277284
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorene-stunson-hill-96349527
Twitter - https://twitter.com/Hill008
I am honored to have you as a Fan!
Writing gave Lorene a sense of accomplishment. Emerging from homlessness, she lived in an old historic relic of a hotel, The Putnam Hotel, that was known to be haunted. Many of its residents were "put" there by Social Services and most were on drugs. Residents paid by the day or week, so for many it was a revolving door. There were two Nightclubs on the main floor, so most nights were filled with loud music and disruptive noises. Lorene stayed locked up in her room, except for regular escapes to the grocery store. Her room numbered 313 was reported to be the most haunted room in the Hotel. Several Ghosthunters had done investigations. Curious? Check out this one site: riphunters.com/putnam-hotel - Raising her one year old Grandson, who had been abandoned by his mother, she had even more stress, loving him so and wanting the best for him.
Lorene said, " Writing this book was my escape and it made my life rich and rewarding. I felt in touch with a higher power while writing this book. No bad ghosts or spirits were going to bother me! I'd pray for where to go next, having reached writer's block, and I promise you the answer would pop into my head during the night. This novel brought me to a new divine awareness. I realized I had experienced a lot in life that had left me strewn and unsettled, the book brought about a resurgence of a strong feeling of cohesion, for me. I could feel my heart glow with excitement and enthusiasm as I wrote this book. I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I enjoyed writing it!" - Lorene Stunson Hill -
Book Trailer - https://youtu.be/A5MgP9VeGKsAlso, enjoy the music of Local Artist - K9! Like what you hear? Listen to more at https://soundcloud.com/kenanhill
Book Reviews:
By K.W.C on June 18, 2014 Great read! I enjoyed this story. The author Ms. Hill, has an excellent way of "drawing you in" to the story. Very well done! I felt emotion as I read it and the To whom it may concern piece, really had me connecting with the primary character!
By Marie Buck on July 20, 2014 Thought Provoking Read! To Dance with Ugly People really drew me in with the author's concept of basing each 'chapter' of life on an African dance. I found this to be a thought provoking, and emotional.
By Rukia the Reader on October 21, 2014 An emotive and memorable read! This is an emotional and captivating novel, which is cleverly written. It is formatted using a unique style that enables the author to portray stories relating to some of the struggles of daily life for the main character Dani and the heartache endured. As it covers emotive subjects like drug abuse, and abusive relationships, it is obvious that the author has invested emotionally in this book and this gives it a sense of honesty and integrity. It is an intense read in parts and is an enjoyable book to read.
By Melissa72 on April 18, 2015 This is a story told in a series of letters written by Dani, beginning in the year 1955 when she was just a small child of only 4 years old, and continues on through until the fall of 1983. Dani's story is raw and emotional in it's honesty and truth. Dani is forced to grow up early, with a mother who left her in charge, basically abandoning her to raise her siblings and care for the household as a parent should. Dani suffers from abuse and neglect, not only as a child, but throughout this entire tale. I felt for this girl, I kept hoping that things would take a turn for her, kept looking for her silver lining. Dani eventually grows up to be a strong woman, with the courage to keep going, to keep striving, and believing that her true "someone" was out there, waiting to appreciate all that she has been through, and the person that she has become. It is hard to read through Dani's trials and tribulations, hard to look into the face of the hand that this poor girl was dealt. This author did an excellent job in crafting Dani and her story, and all of the characters that come in and out of her life and affect it. She makes you understand the pain and suffering that Dani goes through, and helps the reader to see how she comes to the point that she finally is at.
By Tassy Trip The Light Fantastic! To Dance with Ugly People by Lorene Stunson Hill is an inspirational and emotional drama of the life and times of Dani growing up fast from 5 years old. Told in diary format this remarkable story squeezes every drop of emotion from the reader without being preachy or overbearing. Well done to the author for tackling such a subject in a way that is totally unique. Very Highly Recommended!
"Very real and frightening," said Critic, J. Rutherford"I have learned from experience that if J. Rutherford says it is good; it will be." - R. Walker -
By Sabrina Hundal Book Reviews A good read!
By Sheree Started reading it. I like it. The author is my cousin!
By D. Cotoon August 22, 2014 Who is to know human nature? There are so many different personalities; it becomes difficult to understand how one will react to their environment. And then there's fate. How much of one's life is altered by fate? This is a story of Dani Dobson from the age of four in 1955 to September 1983. Dani had a very difficult life. Her very favorite person in the world was `Big Mama' a name she called her grandmother. When she was five, she lost Big Mama. Her mother had little time for her, leaving her to take care of the house and siblings. Because of the abuse she endured, she became very introverted. She found solace in reading and when she was a teen, she loved skating. During her teen years, she met Dane Ransom. He pursued her romantically and she fell deeply in love with him. Her marriage to Dane would not ease her abuse.
By Robin Squire October 2, 2015 This is the most wonderfully entertaining and powerful book, written with great sensitivity, guts and feeling. I urge you to read it, it will enhance your life.
By Simon Okill To Dance With Ugly People by Lorene Stunson Hill is an inspirational and emotional drama of the life and times of Dani growing up fast from 5 years old. Told in diary format this remarkable story squeezes every drop of emotion from the reader without being preachy or overbearing. Well done to the author for tackling such a subject in a way that is totally unique.
Book Reviews By Lyon Book Promotions Very Highly Recommended. Lorene has done a wonderful job with her book titled; To Dance With Ugly People as she is touching many lives with her book. We have been good friends and fellow authors for a while now, and I can tell she not only is caring and has a big heart, she is true professional when it comes to representing women as authors.
By Jenny Dunbar Lorene, writes and speaks from the heart with eminent pace and passion. To write with such moment requires a provenance that includes rich courage. That 'truth' is what moves the reader and the way that is woven into the language so effectively. By John Lock Trying to find the correct starting place to recommend Lorene is proving to be quite difficult. Do I start with her literary skills which have enabled her to write a very compelling novel? Do I begin with her tireless efforts to promote and market her work? Or do I mention about the time, effort and dedication she applies in raising her grandchild? Despite her circumstances, she has still managed to write a realistic, down to earth story of a young girl growing into an adult with all the trials and tribulations that entails. To Dance With Ugly People is her first novel and reached No.1 Best Seller in the African-American Women's Fiction category. Her efforts to promote her work, whilst restricted with her family commitments, have been exemplary and if anybody deserves to be rewarded for her efforts then Lorene should be top of the list! To sum up Lorene Stunson-Hill, she has an amazing skill of accurately portraying life in her literary work. Her marketing efforts put most of us to shame, she knows what she wants and never loses focus on what she could achieve. If you read her novel you get the impression that the pain, anticipation, love, fear and despair may be borne out from personal experience, but it is a book that you will definitely want to finish.
Lorene Stunson Hill eloquently guides you through this journey of life, hope and despair, and if you read only one book this year - MAKE SURE IT IS THIS ONE! ' The good is sensitively written, the bad is portrayed as the reality of life and the ugly are the things in life we hope will never happen to us. Many customers have already benefited from reading the works of this amazing Author. - John Locke -
12 Marzo 2016 (Book review from Italy - Pubblicato su Amazon.com) "I loved the book, you could really feel the pain, joy and longing for someone to just love Dani, and the inner strength she had to overcome all of her trials and fears. this book is truly worth getting and reading. I feel you will enjoy it, as much as I did!.
By Lorene Stunson Hill I decided to present all of my Reviews for, 'To Dance with Ugly People,' that I am so grateful for, in an unique way. I took pieces of them to create this piece. I send a special heartfelt "Thank you." to everyone who has read my book and blessed me in this way. Enjoy!
T is for Truthfulness, there is so much of it in this book.
O is for Obervation, the Author shows in this very well written and creative piece.
D is for Drama, you feel in this inspirational and emotional read.
A is for Angst, as what this thrilling romance has.
N is for Novel, so much raw talent was encompassed into it.
C is for Courage, the main character has, to be able to carry on.
E is for Enjoyed, as I did this story.
W is for Written, as if it is a series of captivating letters.
I is for Integrity, this book gives you a sense of.
T is for Talent, that the Author surely has.
H is for Heart, the Author has invested in this book.
U is for Unique, the way the author tackles such a subject.
G is for Ghosts, the brutal shadows of darkness you won't forget – Awesome Read!
L is for Life, a challenge the reader will definitely feel.
Y is for Yesterday, as to when you should have purchased this book.
P is for Provoking, as where your thoughts will lead as you read.
E is for Extreme, real life horror is more compelling than a bogeyman beneath your bed.
O is for Odds, can dreams can come true, against them?
P is for Plagued, as will be your mind as you understand her strengths and measures.
L is for Love, you will find yourself relating to the perceptions and emotions.
E Everyone, both men and women can read – Excellent!
For interview or further information, please contact the author direct: lorenehill63@gmail.
For more on this amazing Author see links in upper right hand corner or copy and paste links below:
Author's Den - http://www.authorsden.com/lorenehill – Like page
Cold Coffee Cafe - http://coldcoffeecafe.com/profile/LoreneStunsonHill - Like Page
Facebook - Fan Page – Amethyst - https://www.facebook.com/Todancewithuglypeople?ref=hl
Facebook – Author Page - Lorene Stunson Hill - https://www.facebook.com/drawingyouin/
Facebook – Book Page - To Dance with Ugly People - https://www.facebook.com/UglyIsAsUglyDoes/
Facebook – Friends who like to dance with ugly people - https://www.facebook.com/groups/244250459247996/
Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8029610.Lorene_Stunson_Hill - Follow Author
Google+ - https://plus.google.com/107187301810139277284
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorene-stunson-hill-96349527
Twitter - https://twitter.com/Hill008
I am honored to have you as a Fan!
“To Dance with Ugly People," tells the harrowing story of Dani Ransom's travels down several dark paths. She experiences the ravages of drug abuse, psychological cruelty, and the fanatical abusive love of her husband Dane. Experience Dani Ransom “Living on the Edge.” Understand the narcissist hold by Dane on Dani. Witness the chaos of Dani Ransom’s mind. Troubled by man versus women, she makes many wrong decisions. Exhausted by the collapse of every aspect of her life, can she save herself and overcome the shadows of darkness that follows her? She finally finds the love of her life, her greatest muse, an older man, Chance Wiley, but even when she strives to travel the right path, fate steps in. Haunted by her own personal ghosts she can't live life to its fullest. Is fate everywhere we are, involved in everything we do and not just the end result? What do you think?
Chapter One Excerpt - To Dance with Ugly People
VULANI RINGI RING - Children Circle Dance - Celebration of youth.
To Whom It May Concern:
Even as a young girl, four years old, pain was worth something; it taught me how to dance emotionally. The adults in the house acquiesced in my situation, failing to be observant or even interested, as we joined together every Sunday for a family gathering.
The large yellow stucco house where we assembled, on Boston Street, in a quiet, luxuriant, tree lined neighborhood belonged to my Big Mama. The huge and rambling house sat on a hill in Detroit, Michigan. The era, the mid-fifties, was a time that spawned the celebration of “Michigan Week.” A celebration of the economic, cultural and natural resources, which made Michigan great. I imagined my great grandmother, an entrepreneur, who was lucky in real estate - rare for a woman of color - had contributed to that economic growth. She left that big old house to Big Mama.
The sun beat down boiling hot, as we climbed the tired, aged, cracked concrete steps that led up to its weathered front porch. The surrounding grass baked crisp, looked like straw. Mama mopped her forehead with a dainty white laced handkerchief, several times, along the dreaded journey. Summer in Detroit was hot, lethal. The winters were brutal, bitter and cold. Mama always said, during winter ice, Big Mama was going to slip on those steps and break her neck. Mama told Big Mama, often, that she needed to move, but Big Mama loved her house and owned it outright. She told Mama she was crazy.
Big Mama liked giving me pennies and listening to me count. I often practiced counting on those exhausted, crooked and lengthy steps. I was silently counting on that day, too. One…Two…Three…Sixteen steps! That wisdom made me smile.
We had dinner at Big Mama’s house, after attending church. The dining room table, always neatly set with gold trimmed china, sparkling crystal glasses and polished silverware was inviting. The smell of freshly baked peach cobbler overpowered the table. A table already filled with steaming hot aromatic and delicious homemade foods. We called “Soul Food.’ The savory smells that filled the air had us all ready to indulge.
I always looked angelic, in frilly dresses, with a petticoat underneath. I wore ribbons in my hair, ruffled socks that matched my panties and white patent leather shoes. After dinner, the adults would spend time in the front room, laughing, dancing, drinking and playing cards. However, I was filled with sickening dread as Big Mama’s third husband placed all of his attention on me. “Give me some sugar, baby girl.” He would say.
“Go ‘head baby, give Grandpa a kiss.” Big Mama would urge me on.
Reluctantly, I kissed him on the cheek. They all said I was his favorite.
To Whom It May Concern:
When no one was watching “Grandpa” would sweep me up into his flabby muscled arms and carry me to the stairs, off the kitchen, that led to the basement. I didn’t want to go down there! I hated descending those rickety stairs to where it was dark, damp and eerily below the surface of the land. The tipped, tiny and filthy windows, sat high near the ceiling yet bottom level to the earth. It made me feel like I was entering a grave.
At the foot of the stairs a single dusty light bulb and chain hung from the ceiling. Once Grandpa yanked on it; it only dimly lit the room. Disturbed by his touch, it rocked side to side, creating ominous shadows and shapes as ranks of light swept and swayed about the floor and walls.
I clung to him; afraid of the space we were in. The bathroom we entered had a sink, with a crumpled and dented, rusty metal bucket beneath it - no pipes. The small stained toilet, starting to sink into the ground, giving it a slumped, hunched-back look, sat so close that while sitting on it, his knees were against that rotting pail. He pulled the door shut, a make-shift group of left over wooden planks nailed together, and locked it. My stomach tensed listening to that splintered door scrape mournfully along the floor, groaning and straining until securely closed. The bathroom was dark, with a shadowy light streaming through the spaces between the slats of the door.
Rejoining the group, Mama always smiling, dancing deliriously or playing cards, the sight of me seemed to upset her…I didn’t belong in the room. She was having a good time at the drunken party, too impaired to see my fright, my predicament. She fussed at me instead. She said I was selfish. I didn’t really feel her words affecting me then, because I was alienated from my body, from myself and perhaps, in some ways, I still am. Giving me a mean stare, Mama usually ordered me outside to play with the other children. Somehow, play was gone out of my life.
Why should I dance against the dust?
VULANI RINGI RING - Children Circle Dance - Celebration of youth.
To Whom It May Concern:
Even as a young girl, four years old, pain was worth something; it taught me how to dance emotionally. The adults in the house acquiesced in my situation, failing to be observant or even interested, as we joined together every Sunday for a family gathering.
The large yellow stucco house where we assembled, on Boston Street, in a quiet, luxuriant, tree lined neighborhood belonged to my Big Mama. The huge and rambling house sat on a hill in Detroit, Michigan. The era, the mid-fifties, was a time that spawned the celebration of “Michigan Week.” A celebration of the economic, cultural and natural resources, which made Michigan great. I imagined my great grandmother, an entrepreneur, who was lucky in real estate - rare for a woman of color - had contributed to that economic growth. She left that big old house to Big Mama.
The sun beat down boiling hot, as we climbed the tired, aged, cracked concrete steps that led up to its weathered front porch. The surrounding grass baked crisp, looked like straw. Mama mopped her forehead with a dainty white laced handkerchief, several times, along the dreaded journey. Summer in Detroit was hot, lethal. The winters were brutal, bitter and cold. Mama always said, during winter ice, Big Mama was going to slip on those steps and break her neck. Mama told Big Mama, often, that she needed to move, but Big Mama loved her house and owned it outright. She told Mama she was crazy.
Big Mama liked giving me pennies and listening to me count. I often practiced counting on those exhausted, crooked and lengthy steps. I was silently counting on that day, too. One…Two…Three…Sixteen steps! That wisdom made me smile.
We had dinner at Big Mama’s house, after attending church. The dining room table, always neatly set with gold trimmed china, sparkling crystal glasses and polished silverware was inviting. The smell of freshly baked peach cobbler overpowered the table. A table already filled with steaming hot aromatic and delicious homemade foods. We called “Soul Food.’ The savory smells that filled the air had us all ready to indulge.
I always looked angelic, in frilly dresses, with a petticoat underneath. I wore ribbons in my hair, ruffled socks that matched my panties and white patent leather shoes. After dinner, the adults would spend time in the front room, laughing, dancing, drinking and playing cards. However, I was filled with sickening dread as Big Mama’s third husband placed all of his attention on me. “Give me some sugar, baby girl.” He would say.
“Go ‘head baby, give Grandpa a kiss.” Big Mama would urge me on.
Reluctantly, I kissed him on the cheek. They all said I was his favorite.
To Whom It May Concern:
When no one was watching “Grandpa” would sweep me up into his flabby muscled arms and carry me to the stairs, off the kitchen, that led to the basement. I didn’t want to go down there! I hated descending those rickety stairs to where it was dark, damp and eerily below the surface of the land. The tipped, tiny and filthy windows, sat high near the ceiling yet bottom level to the earth. It made me feel like I was entering a grave.
At the foot of the stairs a single dusty light bulb and chain hung from the ceiling. Once Grandpa yanked on it; it only dimly lit the room. Disturbed by his touch, it rocked side to side, creating ominous shadows and shapes as ranks of light swept and swayed about the floor and walls.
I clung to him; afraid of the space we were in. The bathroom we entered had a sink, with a crumpled and dented, rusty metal bucket beneath it - no pipes. The small stained toilet, starting to sink into the ground, giving it a slumped, hunched-back look, sat so close that while sitting on it, his knees were against that rotting pail. He pulled the door shut, a make-shift group of left over wooden planks nailed together, and locked it. My stomach tensed listening to that splintered door scrape mournfully along the floor, groaning and straining until securely closed. The bathroom was dark, with a shadowy light streaming through the spaces between the slats of the door.
Rejoining the group, Mama always smiling, dancing deliriously or playing cards, the sight of me seemed to upset her…I didn’t belong in the room. She was having a good time at the drunken party, too impaired to see my fright, my predicament. She fussed at me instead. She said I was selfish. I didn’t really feel her words affecting me then, because I was alienated from my body, from myself and perhaps, in some ways, I still am. Giving me a mean stare, Mama usually ordered me outside to play with the other children. Somehow, play was gone out of my life.
Why should I dance against the dust?